Monday, December 20, 2010

Weekend Woes

Someone asked on BlogFrog if you are careful about what you write for fear of judgement. I had to think about it and yes , I guess I do. I think because I share the posts on fb and I don't want to say anything to personal for fear of people making comments about sharing my "business" but I think I am going to start writing what I feel. Tastefully of course, but I don't know why I wouldn't share my own feelings and insecurities when it's my blog. That being said, my entry has nothing to do with that. haha.

The other morning I woke up in complete hysterics. I have never experienced a dream like this before and when I woke up and realized it was a dream I think a wave of relief overcame me as well as the heartache I still held from the dream. It was so strange. In my dream Leo had died right in front of me. And I went through the whole process of the funeral and I was sitting there talking to a friend crying and begging God for a "redo" asking him to let this not be real. The hurt i felt was real and I honestly had no idea I was dreaming. It scared me to death. When I woke up , my first thought was Leo isn't in bed with me, "Oh my God, this wasn't a dream." Then i heard the tv on downstairs and I started crying harder and ran downstairs. Of course he freaked out because I was crying so bad but I couldn't control myself. My heart ached at just the thought. It was my worst nightmare and I hope I NEVER ever have to have a dream or reality like that again. It was awful.

We ended up finishing our Christmas shopping later on once I regained my composure and got ready, and I wrapped them all last night. it was horrid. It took me 4 1/2 hours to wrap everything. I was exhausted and sore to say the least. So my wonderful amazing husband got up with the kids this morning and let me sleep in. Did I mention he was wonderful? The only problem is I will be up all night now because I slept in. ugh, insomnia sucks!


Simplegirl said...

That's a scary dream, thankfully it was just a dream and nothing more. Hope you & yours have a blessed Holiday!

Michelle said...

Thanks and a very merry Christmas to you as well :)

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