Yesterday I was insulted and called a bad mother and a few other ridiculous comments, not by anyone of importance, and it was by a person that I have less then zero respect for. So I wasn't really hurt by his ignorance, and anyone who knows me can attest that this isn't true but it has made me think.
Before you have children you think you know it all. You say my kids wont do that, they will never behave like this. Man, you get a wake up call when that time actually comes. Truth is you have no idea what is in store for you and how your life will change. When I had Madison, I was barely 20, and clueless. Of course I thought I knew what I was doing. I baby sat most of my teens and I knew it would be different but not that much different. Boy, was I in for a wake up call! What I wasn't prepared for was a newborn waking up every 2 hours to eat, be changed, and tended to. I wasn't prepared for living like a zombie for the first 6 months of her life, not remembering if I had eaten or showered half of the time. I was not prepared for the terrible twos to start at 13 months, and I surely had no idea what was in store for me when I added another newborn into the mix. To say that Maddie was a handful was an understatement. I have some stories...but that's for another time.
I remember sitting up at night and crying because I was so overwhelmed. I wanted to be a mom so badly and yet I cried every night. I just didn't know what to do. But we took it one day at a time and made it through and things got easier. I got older, I learned patience, and understanding. I learned to deal with things differently. Now don't get me wrong, there are still days where I sit and cry because I am overwhelmed. There are days that I look forward to bed time because the kids are diving me crazy, and there are days that I think I have no idea what I am doing. But at the end of the day, when I am tucking my kids in and saying bedtime prayers, I am thankful. I love being a mom, and while I may not do it right all of the time, I am still learning.
By no means am I perfect. I am not a perfect person, wife, and definitely not a perfect mother. I make mistakes. I yell too much, I overreact too often, my house is often messy (you try keeping a spotless house with 6 kids everyday.) But I am learning. I have come so far in these last 8 1/2 years of motherhood, and I still have a long way to go. Truth is, no one knows what they are doing. It's easy to sit on the sidelines and judge others. To see a messy house and make a comment about how dirty it is. To see a child throwing a tantrum in the store and quickly say, "if that was my child they wouldn't act like that." It's so easy to cast judgement on others (I am also guilty of this) but you don't see the big picture. My pastor was speaking on Sunday about Life Application. He was talking about parenting and living your life with love. He said if you do one thing different today and yesterday then you are making progress. And I try to apply that to my life. I may yell, and overreact, and be in a bad mood but I am learning. I am growing. I apologize when I am wrong. I admit when I make mistakes. And I am learning to live my life with love. So think twice before you quickly cast judgement on others, because we are all learning and growing, and striving to be the best parent we can be.
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